This Week in List Form

Math exam tomorrow
Spanish essay due Thursday
Observation report due Saturday
Throw in regular, daily homework and reading
Work tonight
School tomorrow
Work Thursday
Emma on Friday
Window treatments on Friday
Girls clean on Saturday
Church on Sunday
Paint on Sunday
Wash, rinse, repeat

Oh, but guess what I am doing tomorrow night?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RUt7fuK8Mno


Nothing will ever match the jazz fest performance but no matter, just the opportunity to see him again. I'm going with my favorite concert goers plus a new one. We'll see what the evening brings.

New Shoes

My BFFL put on some new shoes. Shortly before she left this morning, we were dancing around the kitchen to this song.

The original plan for the weekend at the shore was just Audrey and I, homework, walking the dogs, painting her bedroom. I planned on a bit of crafting and playing house. I had invited my BFFL but never heard whether she was actually coming until after Audrey and I hit the road. Her visit is just what we both needed. This is what we did:









Bonded playing rockband

Found symbolism in many things, past and present

We went thrifting where Audrey and Laura found their common interest, vintage, crazy clothes, Audrey finding an 80's colorful jacket and Laura a cheerleading outfit.

We went to the beach, where Laura totally indulged and participated in my pledge to get into the water every time I am here. She was lucky enough to have not gone commando.

The water was cold and cleansing and wonderful. We received laughs and smiles from observers and luckily did not get arrested for public nudity when we stripped down as discretely as possible in the parking lot.

There are advantages to having a car full of crap, sheets to dry off with and extra clothes to change into even if they are sweaty or extremely large.

Peach and Twink, kindred spirits. The first time my daughters saw her crossing the parking lot from the back, they both said, "She looks like you Mom". We stayed up late everynight, we quoted movies, talked music, watched Superbad, played rockband with Audrey who kicked our asses and laughed. We were in the moment. When she left this morning, she cried a bit. I'm missing her already. We will be back to work, crossing paths at the Y, and I'll probably be calling soon for a massage. This wednesday we will go together to see Michael Franti, now that will be a party.

Audrey and I are sitting here watching Hook, her favorite movie when she was about 4. I thanked her for sharing our weekend with Laura. She laughed and said, "She's just like my friends." We will pack up shortly. It's always a bit difficult to leave but I always know I can come back.

Slowing Down

It's raining today. I've had 4 cups of coffee and still am managing to maintain a calm. The house is finally warming up with the fire in the wood stove. I have one dog sleeping beside me, the other on the couch in the living room (I'm so glad I purchased a slipcover for him to sleep on). I'm listening to a combination of Mike Doughty, Michael Franti (who else?), Joan Osborne, Nickle Creek, Delta Spirit, and Josh Ritter, all sort of acoustic, calming with the exception of you know who. I'm studying for a test in Exercise Science. I will probably bake something to continue that warming, calming feel. I will read a chapter in Buddhism for Mothers book. Ebb and flow as the coolest person I know says. It feels good.

Magic

My neighbor is moving. I met her through a rug hooking email list. She lived on the other side of the county. Remember children, do as I say, not as I do. We met in neutral territory, looking for wool or hooking. Eventually we trusted one another to meet in our homes. When the time came to look for a new home, I aided, and found not one, but two of their homes over the past 5 years or so. She currently lives two houses away. There was a time when we had coffee together 3 or 4 times a week. Creativity always a binding force in our relationship. We haven't quite addressed our break up. I love her, will miss her when she leaves and will cry. The neighborhood won't be the same. Of course, I think she would feel that way if I were the first to leave.


Every morning for about 3 weeks, I sent my BFFL an email video. It was a challenge and a joy to come up with something she would like. This was her favorite, I think. Comedy or music was the theme, although an occasional inspirational video slipped through.


Through facebook, two classmates contacted me and asked to be my friend. I don't know who they are. I went looking for some I did and only found the girl who bullied me through junior high and high school. I wanted to ask her if she still hated me. I did not ask her to be my friend, instead I just sent her a message that stated she still looked the same. She never responded


I found an old beau who lives, of all places, on the eastern shore. Laughter and memories have arisen through email.


I communicate with my children and their friends. Sometimes it just works that way. Nothing beats face to face but sometimes you need to make adjustments, get with the times. Compromise on both sides.


I taught myself to knit after my auntie taught me to cast on.


I'm taking a college course on line.


I furnished the shore house through Freecycle, mostly.

Let's not forget the fantastic music, the venues, and the many tickets I buy.


And yes, I waste lots of time.


Isn't it awesome?

Another Decision

I got a new phone. Do I download Michael Franti ringtone or go with the Mission Impossible I've had for every phone I've owned? Right now Michael Franti is calling my name. Might be because I'm going to see him a week from today.

This is the song I want.

Resurrecting a Theme

All kinds of themes show up in blogs. A year or two ago Corners of My Home was a theme. Many, many years ago when my Aunt Nell was selling her home, she asked the grandchildren what they might want out of her home. If I could find the essay that one of the granddaughters wrote, I would ask permission to post. It spoke of the corners of her home and love and memories there.

Here is a corner of my home, my refrigerator. Everyone knows I collect magnets. Some tacky, some pretty, some inspirational, some just a carryout business. Elvis is up there and so are my girls. What started as a cheap souveneir that I would get myself while away has turned into a cheap gift that people bring me when they go away. My sister just brought back a set of magnets in spanish. I love them! I am anything but organized in my home but my magnets are all pretty well organized and spaced. One evening my sisters in law were laughing about them. The next morning they were all over the place, upside down, sideways, total chaos. We all had a laugh. Everyone once in a while (like today) I clean the front of the fridge, wipe the magnets, and rearrange them. There are memories associated with them, such as the magnet from Blackwater Falls when we were newlyweds, the one from my daughter when she went to Honduras, the one from the Tower of Terror, Jazz Fest, our annual trip to Cape Henlopen, individual trips, family trips and so on and so one.

We have discussions constantly on what will go with us, what will we trash, what will we store for the girls, what we will give away. We only have 12 years in this house but that is enough. Of course my magnets will go with me but it won't be the same. Somehow it will be different. That's ok, we'll build from there.

Decisions

This is the current state of my kitchen. We had two separate epidosodes of water damage to our rustic pine floor, one from the water line to the refrigerator, one from the toilet. The damage was surveyed and we received an estimate to replace the floor. Decisions. After some thought, we opted to do the work ourselves, and put the money into the counter, paint and floor. Last night we spent the evening pulling up the pine boards.

I was speaking with a friend at church yesterday. We are both at a point at our lives where we need to make some decisions. It's not easy and requires stepping out of our comfort zone. Another friend confided in me the decision to leave her husband. My decisions are not nearly as monumental as that but yet they affect my days, my time, my life.

• I have decided to step back from my job a bit, working only two nights a week
• I have decided to take only one, maybe two classes next semester instead of my usual three.
• I have decided to work on the house to prepare it for market in the spring, with the intent of looking for an apartment for the last year here in Carroll County
• I have decided to live at the shore house for the summer

Not major decisions but they feel good, feel right.

A Lovely Day

" I know it's gonna be -A lovely day - lovely day lovely day lovely day lovely day"

Me and bino, we are happy

I had a lovely day yestday. Lately, I guess I had forgotten the simple things. It started in the hot tub, I witnessed a spider killing its meal. A small, minute detail in the huge world around me is what thrilled me. In that frame of mind, I noticed the simple things that make me happy

• crafting, new projects on the horizon and old projects that still excite me


• a budding guitarist showing me a bend, a slide, and something else I don't remeber what it was called


• building a tent out of a blanket and some chairs


• Working out for myself (I now covet my sisters eliptical and her rowing machine)


• Inspiration in the form of books, spiritual, crafty and a novel


• New music, Delta Spirit


• My silly, completely focused, witty, fun youngest child


• a movie with MHP

"Just one look at you and I know it's gonna be a lovely day."

Happy Halloween, Medusa Style

Sunday morning, annual camping weekend, after a full day of rain, My Handsome Prince, puttering around in the camper, making coffee. I sit up in bed. He says "Don't move!" Of course, it is morning, and cold, so I don't. He grabs the camera. "I just have to capture this, it's too good!"

Monday morning, on the phone with my little sister, relaying the hair game story. She was at a party Saturday night, big, big hair, someone touches it "It's not a wig! It's real!" Laughter and luck, for we have husbands who not only tolerate our hair game but appreciate it. We married well.

Beauty in the Mundane

I think the Shutter Sisters posted a theme recently of finding beauty in the mundane. Usually, I'm pretty good at this. Right now, I suck. I am having difficulty finding beauty in the mundane. I am struggling with school, speed reading, memorizing, not learning, except math (thank you Diane). You know those comcast commercials? If only it really worked instead of just feeling like you are in hyperdrive. I finished writing a half assed abstract today, am planning my time at work to include reading a chapter - taking notes, and staying up late to do same. Tomorrow morning will be another chapter, another subject. I have five papers due this week and an exam all in the same subject, and no, contrary to popular belief, I have not procrastinated. This online exercise science class is killing me. Tons of reading, a quiz every week, plus a website to peruse and a discussion board to contribute to. I feel like I have to know it all so consequently try to memorize rather than learn. The real killer is that I would love this class in lecture style. Live and learn.

So needing some comfort, I am baking cookies. I will win the heart of my daughter who will come home to dinner ready and warm cookies and then I will go to work. The cookies will not help my weight issue but they will warm my heart, taste good, and make me feel like a good Mom.

The act of baking cookies - beautiful.

A Big Day

My Father celebrated his 71st birthday by a sleepless night, worrying about taking a pill with a swallow of water, because his gift to himself was a total knee replacement in the morning. Actually, he says its Medicaire's gift to him. I spent maybe 5 minutes with him before they took him to prep him for surgery, assuring us it would be less than an hour then we would be able to see him. More than an hour and a half later, my sister, her son, and our minister and friend Rick were escorted in. Each of us had the day scheduled so a quick prayer was said, kisses and hugs all around and promises of calls and visits. Rachel had a son to pick up from pre-school, Rick had another visit, and I had to pick up the catering trays for...

The promotion ceremony for Sergeant Major, aka My Handsome Prince. His promotion finally, finally, finally came through and so we had a shindig. There are only 10 Sergeant Major positions in the state of Maryland and now my man is one of them. It's quite an accomplishment. Words were said, orders read, and I had the privaledge of ripping off one patch and placing on another (ahh, the magic of velcro!).

A big day. A good day.

Karma

Monday my sister called, she was about to lose it. Today was my day. We spoke briefly yesterday, me talking about the pain in my neck, she grinding her teeth, both agreeing there is something wrong with us. Again the phrase, somethings gotta give, but what? I gave up 3 cycle classes a week and it's not enough. This morning, arriving at work to teach my last morning cycle class, no one shows and I lose my car keys. I could feel the tears welling in the back of my eyes, my throat tight, bemoaning my karma. I walked out and there on the front counter of the YMCA were my keys. That's when I realized my karma was excellent! No one showed for class so I could, of all things, go to the dump to get rid of the countertop that's been in the back of my truck for several days. I lost my keys but someone found them. I had two tests today and while these things didn't improve my ability to excel, my mood was certainly lifted (but I still do not like my math lab and will not repeat on the world wide web what I say about it every Wednesday). I have made my post for my online class and will write my spanish speech while watching a movie with the Sergeant Major. I'm starting to catch up rather than back track. See? Karma.

It's Not the Grade, it's the Learning

I received my first poor grade, a C. It just about killed me, the overachiever I am. I studied hard, too. But, I studied wrong. Now I know. And that is what it is about. It's about learning, learning the material, learning how to adapt to each instructor, each class, learning how to balance work, school, home. It is early this morning and I my morning will be spent watching an instructional DVD on polynomials, not the most interesting subject, but I want to understand. I will then read a magazine article in Spanish, not something I am very capable of, but I want to understand. I will go to work, go to school, drive with Audrey. Then I have to decide, yoga, paint, knit or more homework. Because that will be the end of my day, so full, so short.

Don't you just love my new countertop? My old one was black laminate. I just caress my hand down this one.

BTW, I got a C in....Exercise Science of all things.

This Week In List Form

• I admit it. I have become a fan of facebook. So much so that I've slacked in blogging. It's blogging in one sentence.
• Teaching my youngest how to drive, both of us with white nuckles. I'm a nervous wreck and she is doing well. It's the post trauma from the accident. I'm working on my anxiety constantly.
• Took my first exams, scored a 90 on algebra and unknown in Exercise Science. That one scared ths s**t out of me. Now I'm not so scared.
• Tasted honest to goodness West Virginia moonshine. Let's just say it burns.
• Picked up the crochet hook again against my Mother's wishes - but she picked up the knitting needles, so we are even
• Watched the Presidential debate with other democratic women, and of course MHP. We ranged in age from 20 to 90 but all with similar views
• No comprendo espanol, nada
• Attended an awesome new fitness possibility - a barefoot, freedance, mind, body, flow kind of thing. Way fun.

And so it goes. The new week has begun. We are redoing our kitchen. Tomorrow new countertop is being put in and we will buy new flooring. Paint has been chosen. The first of many, many projects to get our house ready for the market, if and when the market improves. We are constantly thinking of the move even though it is at least one year, if not two, away. My friend and neighbor will move soon, Audrey's best friend moved, so it seems right to think about it. But I know a change gonna come yes it will.

Learning to Drive

Look who is learning to drive!

When I grow up

Don't you just love Michele Schocked? Mine is scheduled is yours?

Fiesta, Fiesta, Fiesta!

We went out last night to hear to hear some music. The four of us, my sister, her husband, My Handsome Prince and I. We started at their house. Audrey was hanging with her cousins and we were all riding together. We went to a great little restaurant, if you can even call it that. Mexican and Salvadoran food. Mmmmm. We had quite the variety and shared it all. The only thing missing was a margarita.

We went to the Sonar to see The Almighty Senators, The Hold Steady, and The Pretenders. I was primarily interested in seeing The Hold Steady, as I've been listening to their latest cd, but knew Chrissy Hynde would rock. The Almighty Senators were off the wall, with strange lyrics and a zappa-esque sound. Chrissy Hynde was just as expected. Her voice still amazing. The crowd loved her. It was packed, packed, packed. They sang, danced, yelled requests and she loved it all. The Hold Steady was good but...the sound was terrible. You could not hear any vocals above the instruments. They were last, we were tired so we did not stay. My sister decided that Hold Steady was wishfull thinking, the guy couldn't hold still to save his life!

It was a wonderful evening. We laughed all evening, making stupid jokes and rhyming. They are such fun to go out with.

Time Away

Several weeks ago, I mentioned to My Handsome Prince that we take off work for our anniversary and head to the shore. He was all for it. Our anniversary fell on a weekend. Guess what happened. He took off the week prior and I took off the week after. Hmmm, something went amiss. We still went to the shore, all 4 of us, for the weekend despite Hannah's impending strike. I think she hit our inland residence harder than the shore residence. This is what we did:


We secured our residence


We swam at night in the rain, in the buff (or at least I did, nobody wanted to join me)

We ate twizzlers (okay, me again)

We watched endless movies on tv

We painted Audrey's room

We went to The Clayton to see The Dark Knight

And then the sun came up and we went to the beach

And then they left me. Both girls had to go to school, MHP had to go back to work, and I was playing hookey.

While they were gone, I played house, a guest in my house had totally rearranged my kitchen cabinets much to my irritation. I did homework, by the pool, at the beach.

The town and beach were empty.

I went for late night walks with the dog. And I met my friend, Annette, for Happy Hour at Mangos.

My week came to an end, I reuinited with my family for a few hours and then went our separate ways again. Audrey and I, responding to the call, again. Me painting for the Children's Home in Catonsville, Audrey working with her Youth group, washing cars, demolishing walls, and holding a yard sale. We finished the weekend together with the annual concert on the lawn in Lansdowne with the Nitty Gritty Church Band.

My family was there, Dad, Mom, Sister and family, Auntie, my kids. A great way to end time away.

Overwhelmed

At the end of my school day today, I stopped by Mary's classroom. Mary was my Health and Wellness teacher last semester. No matter how frazzled I was, she was always in the room with a smile, a deep breath, patience, confindence, and calm. Today was no different. When asked how I was, I responded with a smile and a sigh "Overwhelmed". She observed in our short time together that I am always like that at the beginning, and so is she. She said to me, less is more. How true, how true.

I'm overwhelmed with my classes, especially math lab, not math class. I went so far as to tell the instructor I did NOT like this class. I am totally overwhelmed with Spanish, wondering if I will ever speak the language. I am overwhelmed with my online class, Exercise Science, a big mistake to take online, a class in which I could use classroom interaction. And I'm overwhelmed with what direction to take with my education. I'm already re-thinking it. I guess I'm a typical college freshman.

I'm overwhelmed with my job, not enjoying what I do anymore and wondering why. I'm overwhelmed with my house and eliminating 12 years of crap, I'm overwhelmed with my knitting because I thought after 90 rows I was near the end, but no, just changing shape and knitting another 96. I'm overwhelmed with my body that has packed on 9lbs. since the accident and just does not move the way I want.

Tomorrow is a busy day, teaching in the morning, homework all afternoon, then work in the evening. Somewhere in there, dinner needs to be made, laundry needs to be done, and dogs need time outside. I viewed a lovely little spot outside, on a porch swing, that has been neglected all summer. That is my homework spot. Dinner is easy, leftover fresh corn, black beans, fresh salsa, and tortillas. I won't try to do everything and be accepting of what I can do.

Less is more, less is more.

Last week while at the shore, I made a mental list of things that make me happy. So, back to listmaking I go, revisiting the birthday list, revising it, revisitng other lists, revising, and reading Keri Smith, Living Out Loud.

Last Days of Summer, First Days of School

New book bag made by best friend
corner of front flower bed
washing her car
waiting for the bus

a walk near a field