Here's the Plan

We spend our days here
We eat here and here
We check this for who we may want to see at the festival and at night
We do go to the clubs at night
We don't get any sleep
We dance
We sing
We eat
We drink
We walk
We sweat
We stink
We watch
We love
We come home extremely tired
and filled with music to soothe the soul
See you in a few days.

Lucky

When Emma was little, before Audrey was born or right about the time, she had a small stuffed animal. A dalmation she named Lucky. He was dubbed Lucky because he fell overboard a boat and we were able to retrieve him.


Today I am the lucky one.



They say most car accidents occur within a certain mile radius of your home. Thursday, while waiting to make a left hand turn onto my road, I happened to glance in my rearview mirror and see a truck, speeding towards me, not going around me. With a car coming the opposite direction, my turn was not possible, and so I blared my horn, and terrified, knew I was going to be hit. If you have ever been knocked out by a strong wave in the ocean, where you don't know right side up from wrong, front from back, side to side, and don't even have recollection of where you are or what is happening. Yup, that's it. All of this in a manner of seconds. My first reaction was to yell at the other driver. I was furious at him for being so totally unobservant. Then I was restrained by people on the scene, telling me not to move my head, neck or back. My neighbor and Y member Christina just happened to be walking her dog when she heard the crash. She spoke to me, carressed my arm and kissed me before the ambulance took me away. I was strapped into place, neck brace, head taped, restraints on arms and legs and taken to the hospital. No phone, no purse, no sanitary supplies, nobody, alone, I cried.

Friday night I attended the play "Seusical" that my youngest has been participating in. I cried before the show even started, knowing I was lucky to be there. The song "How Lucky You Are" was sung in various situations. Saturday I attended my oldest's concert at the university, and again the tears came. One of the numbers the choir did opened with these words, each one held "Sing, Be, Live, See". I rejoiced.

My Handsome Prince went to see his car and gather belongings from it. He said there is nothing from the front seat back, that it does not exist. I'm thankful that I was not transporting children, that my dogs were not free in the car. I'm sorry for my anger at the other driver. I am thankful to the caring people on the scene attending to me and the other driver. There are many emotions running through me.

Now I sit here in the sunroom on my computer and My Handsome Prince on his computer. The puppies are all around us. We will again attend "Suesical". We will buy our sweet daughter her favorite ice cream on the way home. We may have overnight guests. Our life does not change but yet it does.
I still hurt, my neck, my ribs, my head, my eye, my vision is slightly blurred. I've spent many hours just sleeping, a deep sleep. I will go back to work tomorrow, back to school. We head to Jazz fest next week. Arrangements to make and more. I have this black eye to remind me over the next week or so. How lucky am I?

Home

I'm exhausted, every muscle fiber in my body hurts, but damn it feels good! I'll try to post about our weekend soon, I promise.

Attencion

Esta noche, ven Ozomatli en Danza con las Estrellas

Hopefully it says
Tonight, see Ozomatli on Dancing with the Stars.

Good Luck Making Friends

That's what Audrey jokingly said yesterday when I called home with the exciting news. I had the single highest score on the spanish midterm. Woohoo! Now, if I can apply it to my second essay, I'll be doing just fine. Just had to share the good news.

Beach Visit

My friend Sharon says I should not say I'm going to the shore but that I am going to the beach. Because we are inland, I feel we are going to the shore and visiting the beach. But she is local, she should know.

Breeze blowing, warm temperatures, it felt like the beach. We will open the pool in early May and probably just watch it for a bit until the water is warm enough to swim.

The babies went with us. Big boy Gus, aka Handsome Rob is too old to travel.

He is thinking he's glad he does not have a lawnmower yet, for then he would be mowing the lawn instead of enjoying the breeze, although he is already feeling the pressure of keeping up with Jimmmy.

The place for breakfast, local, fast, friendly, homey, yummy.

Just because they are cute.

Our jam session, can you see the concentration?

We obviously are not very good

We finally did it! Look at our happy faces!

Shore Bound

Late afternoon yesterday, I was able to finalize a quick trip to the shore, thanks to Emma and MHP's BFFB (anybody get that?). So, to the shore I go, with two puppies, and My Handsome Prince. A movie tonight, either Rocky Balboa or Across the Universe, for that is what is down there, knitting on my t-shirt rug (I've left it there) a long walk late at night, a visit to the organic food store, and of course a walk on the beach regardless the weather. I just love it there.

Relationships, part 2

I have two daughters both of which communicate with me in totally different manners. I am a verbal communicator despite the fact that I keep a written blog and send a lot of email. Emma and I talk on our cell phones coming and going, todays conversation on STD's because that was the upcoming subject in Health. I can't protect her but I can talk to her, so that is what we did and it was easy, pleasant.

Audrey does not like to talk. I still have trouble with that and am more aware now of the need to communicate with her the way she is comfortable. Todays text message was "Are you disappointed in me?" Well, for one, it nearly broke my heart, and for two how in the world can I text an answer to that? I guess she was looking for a simple yes or no, but I felt compelled to call. "Yeah Mom, thanks, gotta go" was her response to my almost teary call.

So here is my written response to my incredible, youngest child:
Oh Audrey, I am far from disappointed in you. In fact, I am in awe of you. You did something many people never do. You stepped outside your known comfort zone, you perservered, you practiced, you performed, and despite the outcome, you rocked. I hope you are as proud of yourself as I am of you. Other peoples opinions or judgement should not be the only and final outcome of a challenge. Everytime you do something that frightens you or challenges you, you have won. I hope you continue to have the confidence to challenge yourself. You will only be the better for it, broadening your knowledge and experience. You are my hero.

Relationships

Remeber this day? When I found the note on my car? Well she continues to leave them. I told her that day how much I loved finding a note on my car. Ever since then, she's been leaving all kinds of goodies, including a set of mardi gras beads that I missed the first time around. We were talking in Health about relationships and what/how people give to a relationship, what people want, whether it be words, appreciation, touch, quality time, gifts. My BFFL knows just how to make my day. I told her so today, again. She says it's a challenge to figure out what to leave. Well, todays note had me laughing all the way home and then again this evening when I saw her.

Couldn't Keep it to Myself

That handsome one singing lead vocals is none other than My Handsome Prince. I couldn't keep it to myself.

Stories

Sometimes as we lay in bed, I ask My Handsome Prince to tell me a story. I love the sound of his voice and it lulls me to sleep, so the content of the story does not matter. Most of the time he just tells me of his day. Sunday night, he whispered "Did I ever tell you of the only time my Grandad spanked me?" And he told the story of how he would go back and forth from the Tire Shop that Shorty owned to the Grocery store across Rt. 50 that was owned by his Uncle Ed and Aunt Rene on the Miller side, (it was also owned at one time or another by Shorty, Sylvester Miller, Uncle Foster, Uncle Jim, and is still in the family as a real estate office). He told how Shorty would cross him or signal him to cross and under no circumstances was he to do it alone. MHP does not remember whether he did not listen or misundersood his Grandad but he says he can still feel the breeze of the tractor trailer that came within inches. Then Shorty smacked him on the butt. And that was the only time he was ever spanked by his Grandad.


Shorty hired a negro to work in the tire shop, that's what African Americans were called in his day. He was a family man, down on his luck, and needed a job. Another employee of his refused to work in the same place as a negro. Shorty shook his employees hand, told him he was a great worker and would miss him.


There were other stories told yesterday at the funeral for Shorty Grapes. It was held in the largest church in Romney WV expecting a crowd for he touched the lives of many. While the stories were told, I could hear his youngest Great Grandchildren behind me, a 3 year old boy and a 4month old girl, cousins, their mother's sisters. The boy would make a face or say something and the baby would squeal. It was lovely. My beautiful daughter attempted to sing "His Eye is on the Sparrow", one of Shorty's favorite hymns, and almost made it but broke down, Ellen's voice, cracking with tears tried to continue the song and got the crowd to finish it. Wayne, MHP's cousin, spoke so eloquently, trying to control himself, but it was not possible for anyone to contain their true grief. He spoke of the things that Shorty taught the Grandsons, how to be providers, work ethic, and how to love a woman. My Handsome Prince and his cousin embraced each other and cried together with an understanding that only Grandsons would know. It was a wonderful day, it was a terrible day.

All last week, Audrey was working on a family tree. Stories were read from various sides of the family, stories were shared. We heard a story on suspected Native American heritage. We read of a disagreable woman. It was quite interesting and funny how some are remembered. On our way to the service yesterday, Bill, my FIL, told us stories of growing up, of his siblings, he even took us on a detour through the town of Harpers Ferry where MHP was born. We have talked before of the importance of our stories. What are you stories? What will be said of you? Check this out.

She's Calling

Can you hear her?
She's persistent isn't she?

Human Thing

Take a moment, watch and listen to this.

Shorty Grapes

We went to visit this remarkable man on Saturday. Hospice had just gotten there, cleaned him up, shaved him, and then medicated him. We went in to the small bedroom. Each of us took our turn, kissing him, holding his hand. My Handsome Prince told him he looked handsome, Shorty responded "I wouldn't say that". It was awkward, my daughters not quite sure what to do, MHP talking. We left him to rest a bit, cried a bit, visited with Ellen, Enid, Maude, Carolyn was snoozing with him. These women are his 2 daughters and sisters, who are his constant caregivers, constant companions. Remarkable man, remarkable women. Our next little visit was easier, we snuggled in a bit more, even Apple Sunshine found a warm spot in the crook of his belly where he could caress her, we held his hand or just touched him, we stopped the visiting and sang. We gave him water and just were there in the moment. The house is a constant of people in and out. I think the house was full yesterday, when he finally died. I am sad, my children are sad, my husband is sad. I know there are many others. What I do know is that Shorty was ready, he was at peace, he was ready to go home.

Massage

Oh, I love getting a massage. My Handsome Prince and I arrived at home at the same time. He asked "Are you allright?" I said, "oh, yeah." I think I looked a bit loopy.

Are You Allright?

There has been a little nagging thought in the back of my head for the past week. Easter is a time of ressurection, rebirth, now I am reminded of the death of a young woman, too early taken. I think of her rebirth through her children. I hope stories are told, the good and the bad, the photos are shared. I'd like to know if there is a certain story of her that is told, remembered.

It was a busy day, starting at an early service, where Audrey was a participant. Always a meaningful experience when the youth leads the service. Breakfast at church then off to my father's church, where Emma was singing. Our presence there moved my father to tears. What a wonderful feeling, to please someone so much, with no pressures, nothing expected, just to be there. Of course, it made me cry too. Home for a brief moment, to regroup and let the dogs out, then back in the car to go to Mom's. Gathering there were the 4 of us, My sister and her family, plus Auntie and Uncle. Barely halfway there, the phone rang, wondering where we were, there were starving people in Towson. The pressure was on. Once we ate and scattered a bit, things calmed down. The girls, plus MHP, all played a hilarious game of cards that lasted forever. You never heard so much laughter. I know it pleased my Mom to have us there, laughing and loving.

I've been in pain this week, with neck issues and what I believe to be tendonitis in both elbows. I ache every morning so I soak in the hot tub before doing anything. I haven't lifted in a month, so feel flabby and blah. Today is an appointment with Laura for a massage, so I am moving forward. We missed two appointments due to various things but will now be on track and hopefully avoid the neck issues.

I made no friends in class this week. On Wednesday, my turn to present my research findings, our teacher was finishing up our chapter review and decided to let us out of class early, not remembering there were presentations to be made. I literally held my hand up and said "NO!" She looked at me, questioning, head cocked, and I held up my notecards. There were people at the door, ready to leave and she made them sit down for my presentation. It was only 5 minutes, I was prepared, I was not going to do it another day. I'm sure they are saying things about that "old" lady in class, what a PIA she is, too perky, too outspoken, too participatory, etc., etc. I'm amazed at how little fun they have.

It's Friday. I have a massage. I am shopping tonight with my daughters and a friend. I'm caught up with most of my homework, so might get some stitching out. That would do it, wouldn't it?

Tomorrow is a day that we have put aside to go to West Virginia to visit Shorty. He is not well and worsening all the time. A sad time.

Ahhhh Spring Break

Mondays night out with the girls to the local Irish Pub for a couple Black and Tans

Tuesdays Pilates class and a nap

Wednesdays lunch with my fitness instructor friends, planning our getaway. I smiled all the way home because it was asked if we would sleep in one bedroom because it's more fun that way. It's a big girl slumber party!

Wednesdays nap after lunch and CSI reruns

Drinking way too much coffee in my car.

Thursdays exam, with careless mistakes. Taking exams is making me nervous, palms sweating, even with notes available, and taking them in my jammies with a cup of coffee by my side. I'm sure I'll get used to it.

Friday morning's mimosas with a friend while we sort our Project Linus blankets.

Friday night's acid reflux, late night tv is really bad, SLSC (Secret Life of a Soccor Mom?gag)

Saturday's kick ass bike class, rocking music

Saturday's lovely afternoon with my neice while we wait for Audrey.

And now an early morning service and an afternoon with my extended family.

I just hope today does not turn into spastic colon sunday, man that would suck.

Quick Visit

Bridgeville Delaware is home to Ralph and Paul Adams, better known as RAPA, the scrapple Kings. Because we cook and eat pork products over the open fire when camping, and yes, scrapple is a favorite, we salute Ralph and Paul Adams along with the mandatory "Thank you Ralph and Paul Adams!" I think My Handsome Prince's BFFB (Best friend forever Brian) came up with this. I did not salute all by myself but I managed to get a photo, albeit not a very good one.

By the time I got to the house, MHP was already home from work and I was famished. We don't have much in the way of cooking utensils yet and hate to stock up the kitchen with to much food so we eat out as much as we cook. The Latino population is quite large so the choice of mexican food is great. This time we went Tex/mex. This place was not as good as La Quetzelteca. Food was just not as fresh or as well prepared. But they did have some guy walking around with this pitcher of wine with a long spout on it, you were supposed to tilt your head back while he poured wine in your mouth. I don't know about you, but I prefer to sip my wine from a glass. We came back to the house and watched "No Country For Old Men". Grim, but worth a view.

In the morning, I was invited to breakfast at the house of my new friend. I met this woman in the Organic food market, we've been in touch via email and finally got a chance to get together. She had set a beautiful table, including a cloth napkin with a cute little tie around it that said "new beginnings" on one side and "Always find joy in the ordinary things in life" on the other. Now, how did she know? As my kids would say, I think we are "thoulmates". We went to the Holistic Health fair and laughed our way through. I do not think we ever stopped talking (or laughing) during the drive, the fair or the drive back. She filled me in on few necessary tidbits on shore living, like the best bakery, how to avoid traffic, cool stores, etc. I am looking forward to our next get together.

I then went for a quickie on the beach. All those times over the past two years of driving to the shore to look at houses and never even seeing the water has paid off. I do not go with out at least a small walk on the beach, search for shells, and a moment of wonder at the surf.

Now I am back in my primary home, with a messy kitchen (well, a messy everything), a paper to write, an online exam to take, a presentation to prepare, and some reading. Nothing like the real world. I've got a small glass of wine at one side, two puppies sleeping on the other side, girls out with friends and cousins, the house is quiet, I can sort of hear the surf, can you?

The Saga of the Vest

My niece decided to learn to sew. She's a gymnast and has a back issue so is resting and wearing a brace. She started a black denim fitted vest, it's so easy mind you, or so the pattern says, with the most adorable lining - red with black polka dots. Well she got it constructed but when it came to turning it right side out, they could not figure it out. I received a phone call or two, they took it to Grandma, who washed her hands of the matter after some frustrating time. Everyday I'd call, "Did you get it?" No. This was bugging me as much as them! So, I cleaned up my studio and told them I had 2-3 hours that afternoon. Li'l Sis packed up the kids, her patterns, the vest, and came over. Remember the last time? Well, I had no expectations other than to finish the vest. It was a mess! It had been through the wringer more than once. The lining was beginning to fray from the handling. The construction was great, though, and Abigail had done a wonderful job sewing. Finally, after looking at vest patterns, my own frustrated turning, I looked on the Internet for some guidance. God bless the Internet. That's how I've learned some of my knitting (some from Auntie). We decided there was an error in the pattern. So I carefully ripped and carefully sewed and gave instructions on how to patch, should she need, and how to hand sew the opening closed. She did a beautiful job. She is quite pleased as she should be. It's a lovely vest. BTW, she also made the dress she is wearing.


















Remember Bino and the powder? This time it was the Master Mind game. This is just a small portion of the mess that was on the floor. I found him on his back, on the floor, shooting the little pieces as if they were missiles, compete with the the noise.


It was a wonderful, much needed time with my sister and her kids. We don't get this time much anymore. I left for work before they left. Audrey had just gotten home so they were doing their visiting. On my way to work I called My Handsome Prince and told him I had the Best Afternoon! It's been a good week.

Today I head to the shore. Heaven.

Now Today Students...

In Health we were physically active, playing DDR, jumping rope (with others turning), lifting weights, tinikling, and more. At the end of class, another instructor was setting up. She had a heavily stuffed sock (?) on the end of a long rope and started spinning it with the instructions to jump. Then she went faster. It was great fun! I talked with a young man who likes taking photographs and got a new camera. My partner who sits next to me was sad at the end of class and said she'd miss me during spring break, we hugged. I'm making contacts.

In Spanish, we stached this movie over the course of two classes. I recommend it. What desperation, what determination, and sometimes what disappointment. I had a hard time not embarrasing myself with tears at various points.