Monday, September 15, 2008

Overwhelmed

At the end of my school day today, I stopped by Mary's classroom. Mary was my Health and Wellness teacher last semester. No matter how frazzled I was, she was always in the room with a smile, a deep breath, patience, confindence, and calm. Today was no different. When asked how I was, I responded with a smile and a sigh "Overwhelmed". She observed in our short time together that I am always like that at the beginning, and so is she. She said to me, less is more. How true, how true.

I'm overwhelmed with my classes, especially math lab, not math class. I went so far as to tell the instructor I did NOT like this class. I am totally overwhelmed with Spanish, wondering if I will ever speak the language. I am overwhelmed with my online class, Exercise Science, a big mistake to take online, a class in which I could use classroom interaction. And I'm overwhelmed with what direction to take with my education. I'm already re-thinking it. I guess I'm a typical college freshman.

I'm overwhelmed with my job, not enjoying what I do anymore and wondering why. I'm overwhelmed with my house and eliminating 12 years of crap, I'm overwhelmed with my knitting because I thought after 90 rows I was near the end, but no, just changing shape and knitting another 96. I'm overwhelmed with my body that has packed on 9lbs. since the accident and just does not move the way I want.

Tomorrow is a busy day, teaching in the morning, homework all afternoon, then work in the evening. Somewhere in there, dinner needs to be made, laundry needs to be done, and dogs need time outside. I viewed a lovely little spot outside, on a porch swing, that has been neglected all summer. That is my homework spot. Dinner is easy, leftover fresh corn, black beans, fresh salsa, and tortillas. I won't try to do everything and be accepting of what I can do.

Less is more, less is more.

Last week while at the shore, I made a mental list of things that make me happy. So, back to listmaking I go, revisiting the birthday list, revising it, revisitng other lists, revising, and reading Keri Smith, Living Out Loud.

2 comments:

mama chelly said...

Its almost like being an addict...you have to hit rock bottom to be reminded to change course, redirect thoughts and relinquish our best laid plans. Once that's done, everything seems more "right" in its place, whether we like where that place is or not. Don't worry, this nasty, overwhelming visitor won't stay long.
LS

Texan said...

But good for you, you enrolled again! I however did not! I just am not sure what direction I want to go with school, do I want a College Dregree or do I want to do something like the Yogoa as I mentioned to you before...
So what did I do, nothing, :O(... did not enroll in school again and I have not enrolled in the Yoga Program either!
So I say GOOD for you and WTG girly you did do something you enrolled again!