Cousins

Today I watched my kids with their cousins. I watched them all hunt for Easter eggs, with my two sharing a basket. They kept others occupied while we hid, too. I watched (or rather, heard) the oldest and the youngest have a screaming competition, and turn the younger, grouchy screams to laughter. I watched the middle one tenderly care for the puppy. I watched the girls gather together on the couch, eating their candy, and also take up one corner of the table to eat together, my two gathering their girl cousin to them. We talked of how much they enjoy being together, despite the range in age from 19 to almost 2. It's a wonderful, family relationship. May the Circle Be Unbroken.

We were like that growing up. We were a pack with our cousins. There were 7 of us growing up together, and just like Sam, another came along later. By that time, our family had moved from the midwest to the east coast, so we did not watch him grow up. We spent weekends at Grandma and Grandpa's house, eating cinnamon rolls, carving pumpkins, wearing Easter masks or cowboy hats or whatever holiday/prop was on hand, going to dog shows, the circus, helping Grandpa over at the church, or just hanging around. We always wanted to sleep together in G & G's room, with the roll away cot and I guess someone on the floor and a few in their bed (we kicked them out and they slept on the pull out in the tv room). Grandma would tell us stories and rub our backs. When Mark and Christine moved in our neighborhood, literally two blocks away we were estatic! Mark and I were 6 months apart, Rachel and Christine, one year. Now, one of our pack is gone. Daughter, Grandaughter, Sister, Wife, Mother, Cousin, Friend.

My sister and I grieve. We spend a lot of time on the phone wondering when is the right time to make the trip? What do we do for the family? How do we express our sadness? We talk of our father, our uncle, our Grandma, her husband, her children. We just talk. I'm so thankful for that. I will travel with my father this week to Illinois to attend the funeral.

I was gathering songs for my Songs that Speak of the Spirit cd and came upon Paul Simon's "Father and Daughter". I cried. It spoke to me of my Father, but even more, my Uncle, and know the words are true "There could never be a Father that loved his daughter more than I loved you."
If you leap awake

In the mirror of a bad dream
And for a fraction of a second

You can't remember where you are
Just open your window

And follow your memory upstream

To the meadow in the mountain

Where we counted every falling star

I believe the light that shines on you

Will shine on you forever (forever)

And though I can't guarantee

There's nothing scary hiding under your bed

I'm gonna stand guard like a postcard of a golden retriever

And never leave till I leave you with a sweet dream in your bed

Chorus: I'm gonna watch you shine

Gonna watch you grow

Gonna paint a sign

So you'll always know

As long as one and one is two

There could never be a father who loved his daughter more than I love you

Trust your intuition

It's just like goin fishin'

You cast your line and hope you get a bite

But you don't need to waste your time

Worryin' about the market place

Try to help the human race

Strugglin to survive its harshest night.

-Paul Simon